The contest is over! I'm going to print out all the responses now, and will post the results of my wife's decision tomorrow. Goodnight, have to get up early for the fleamarket tomorrow! Eddie
posted by Eddie 8/12/2000 07:55:08 PM
I've just posted a few more "Why Mrs. Breen should Let Eddie Hang His Art in His Own House" contest entries, and the contest shall end Saturday night. The next morning Mrs. Breen shall look over the arguments and let me know which one moved her the most. I'll post the results here and also mail it out on the Eddie list. To see the latest, go here.
The prize T-shirt has this image on it:
posted by Eddie 8/10/2000 08:15:51 PM
Above is my next prebreen. I have this stack of portraits that Annie picked up at the fleamarket last Sunday, and I'll launch in on this one tomorrow. It really isn't a bad painting in it's own right, and to tell the truth, I feel a little guilty about giving it the treatment. But I'd probably glop up the Mona Lisa if it was in my clutches, so what the hell - but still....
Occasionally I get a little hate mail, or exasperated mail, from people who hate or are perplexed by my art, and who are AGAINST, yes TOTALLY AGAINST painting on existing works of art. I am giving these people a chance to put their money where their mouths are.
If anyone wants to ransom this work from my itchy painting fingers, they can email me with the promise of a $500 payment, or else the painting gets it! If there is no promise by tomorrow, Reverend Lucas will dance with the demons!
posted by Eddie 8/10/2000 06:13:40 PM
My painting on ebay isHERE.
Think about it - a nun would make a great daredevil. Tempting death isn't a bad thing for a hardcore nun as she knows a better place is beyond! She could be a daredevil with utmost confidence - it's a win-win situation!On a more personal note - I was pointing out to my wife this morning that breen junior is only talking in words that begin with 'B' like bottle, bubble, etc. Still doesn't say Mommy, a sore point as he enunciates dada quite well. So I say, why not construct a whole vocabulary out of b-words, maybe change certain words like mommy to bommy. If he didn't like the bottle he could push it away saying, "Bommy, bad breeny bottle, botulism!" - then we'd know the crying wasn't caused by his growing teeth!
posted by Eddie 8/10/2000 09:42:40 AM
Well, I'm trying to list my new painting on Ebay but the sell feature seems to be locked up at the moment. Here's the work and it will go up as soon as Ebay straightens out -
posted by Eddie 8/10/2000 09:24:24 AM
NEW BREENABLE! The portrait below
is my next project. The camera flash makes her shine and look horribly sunburned. Any suggestions as to treatment? Perhaps a pink nun. Maybe she joined the sisterhood in search of travel and adventure, and is now dissapointed - or maybe her order is wild - Extreme Nun!!!! Yes that's it! Bungi jumping, skysurfing, Sacred Order of the Extreme!
posted by Eddie 8/09/2000 10:07:37 AM
I'm getting a number of entries for the Why Eddie's Wife Should Allow His Art Hung IN Their House contest so I'm linking the responses HERE. Also the contest explanation.Now listen, I know my wife, and if I start in with these gems I'm not gonna stand a chance. For example, Adam's advice to tell Mrs. Breen who SHOULD wear the pants is clearly antagonistic and I'll be forced to wear burlap underwear again and that leather thing with the steel ball in the mouth. NO THANKS!
And Contessa! Agreeing with my wife is not the way to win this contest - well, maybe it is. I'm going to print out all the responses and have her read them, and she'll decide who has swayed her the most!
posted by Eddie 8/09/2000 09:03:05 AM
The following "Why Eddie's Wife Should Allow His Art Hung IN Their House" contest entry is from the Contessa:
Why A Breen Should Hang in Your House
First off, I agree with said unnamed wife, that a Breen should not hang in your house... unless, it is transformed from being ARRRRRRRRRRRRT into "Art". This can best be accomplished with a simple, sophisticated, museum-quality frame and serious track lighting. A thick carpet directly in front of it will help, as will a viewing bench. A small card to the side, also track-lit, will denote the Artist, Title and history. You could disguise the disguised name by calling it an "Eddie Neerb".
Of course, Neerb is dead: died tragically at the height of his artistic powers in the 1940's. You are lucky to have one of his few paintings. If you want to take it just that step farther, you could try stanchions and gold cording. But, some people would say that's like wearing one too many piece of jewelry. All of this is being done to one purpose... to await the stranger or acquaintance who will, one day, upon visiting your house, pose his way to the painting, lean back, finger on lip, and murmur, "Interesting Neerb you have there."
As a closing summation sentence, I would like to say that I agree with said unnamed wife, that a Breen should not hang in your house... unless, it is transformed from being ARRRRRRRRRRRRT into "Art".
posted by Eddie 8/09/2000 08:34:23 AM
The following "Why Eddie's Wife Should Allow His Art Hung IN Their House" contest entry is from Adam:
1a. In reading today's post (TUESDAY) and other items throughout your website I have picked up on some key concepts: "Art school" "Bike messenger" "Clients"
The first two keywords lead me to believe that the Breens aren't multimillionaires - who ever made any money after finishing art school? And Bike Messengers - I had friends in college who were Bike Messengers and I know what goes on in their world Toss in "clients" and somehow I envision the impoverished Breens inviting "clients" over to try to convince them to part with their money - for what, one can only imagine. Professionals in the art of convincing "clients" to pull out the checkbook are highly skilled at ostentatious displays of wealth to impress said clients.
"Catholic" and "Western" art impresses nobody other than nuns and hillbillies. Instead, avant-garde art such as one might find in Provincetown, Santa Fe or other exclusive snotty-rich gallery towns needs to be present. This will create the illusion to your "clients" that you are incredible wealthy and a family of impeccable taste. "Who should I make the check out to, Mr. Breen?" 1b. Exposure to Breen art by wealthy "clients" may help fuel the demand for Breen art in the marketplace outside by other wealthy POTENTIAL clients - a clever exercise in marketing and PR. 1c. Exposing wealthy clients to Breen art may place them in a state of shock, during which you can TAKE their checkbook, credit cards, wallet, etc. 2. Remind your wife who SHOULD be wearing the pants in the family - and that the more you are emasculated, the weirder you'll get - and if she thinks its difficult with you working at home now...
posted by Eddie 8/09/2000 06:29:09 AM
This is truely a juicy breen.I put a high price on it ,(EBAY) because, my wife wants it (never happened before), and if I don't give it to her, I'll have to bribe her with something nice and expensive. If she gets it, it will hang somewhere other than my cave. Our house is full of breens in one tiny room, covering all the walls like wallpaper, and the rest of the house is barren, breenless! There is alot of Catholic, religous art around, some santos, swestern stuff, why not my breens? Why not my goddam BREENS! The person who emails me the most cogent argument for influencing my wife to allow me to hang my art in the house will be sent an unworn Eddie Breen T-shirt! Her arguments against hanging breens in the house are: 1.Her mother will see them and take offense. 2.Our friends or clients will see, and realize that the art was made by me. 3.Our neighbors will think we're weirder than they already do. 4.It's not REAL art.(She went to art school and while she gets a chuckle out of this stuff, she is secretly resentful that I just picked up a paintbrush a couple of years ago and went at it, becoming wildly successful.) You have to keep the arguments reasonable and nice to be persuasive - in fact, forget #4. I'm usually always in hot water for something, mainly my innate laziness, and I don't want things to escalate. PAM! If you're lurking out there, you better not tell Ann about this! All entries will be listed on my weblog which is on the front page of my website. By the way, no one won my last contest having to do with the ancient Easter Island religous symbolism - that was in 'Jesus in Eden', where Jesus had 6 very long fingers on each hand, a mark of divinity for ancient Easter island people. Sorry, that was a hard one. Thanks, Eddie
posted by Eddie 8/08/2000 07:49:19 AM
posted by Eddie 8/06/2000 08:06:28 AM
Went to the beach and stretched out with the paints - of course my wife was humiliated when people looked over and started tittering. Took a small breenable, a chinese waterfall by the looks of it. Somewhere down the beach I heard a mom yelling at her kid not to pick his scab - so of course I though of Jesus again.
posted by Eddie 8/06/2000 08:02:40 AM
