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posted by Eddie 2/26/2002 05:41:12 PM
For a while now, I've had an idea of using Jesus as a crutch. But the question has been, who'ld be using him? I was driving through Groveland, MA, the other day when I was jolted out of my usual day-dreams by a 28 foot fiberglass maniac standing by the side of the road. Holding an axe, an unfocused homicidal look in his eyes, he is the front man for Valley Tree Service. There are many of his ilk throughout the US. You've seen these giants. Paul Bunyan's, cowboy's, indians, kings, pirates, most all started out as muffler men in the 60s, then were sold, painted and repainted, remade in different roles. One thing that never seems to change - they always look like crazy giants. Anyway, he took over the Jesus as crutch idea, posing as Paul Bunyan and brought Babe the blue ox. Although the ox looks more like a rodent/kangaroo with a fish eye and viscous horns.
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posted by Eddie 2/26/2002 05:41:12 PM
Mrs. Breen and I have been dieting on and off since Jan. 1. This is not for health reasons. We do it out of pure vanity. The thought of exposing our yards of gelatinous flesh on the beach this summer to the ridicule of smug local teenagers makes us quake!
Of course, no matter what we weigh, they'll laugh at us for simply being old and smelly, that's just the way it is.
After hopping off the scale in the morning, my wife is always saying, I wish I had been born in Ruben's time! Well, in our house, Rubens' time is now. I declare a Rubenesque zone around our home here in Hamilton, where more of everything iincluding love, money and weight is great!
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posted by Eddie 2/24/2002 01:54:36 PM
