RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY or simply A JEALOUS ARTIST?
DIRTY TRICKS AIMED AT SHUTTING DOWN BREENISHNESS AT IT'S SOURCE!
Will "FELLOW COLLECTOR" succeed in CHOKING THE VAST FLOW of MONEY generated by highly "UNSTABLE AND SOON TO BE WORTHLESS (Breen) PAINTINGS!?!?"
The following Trojan-horse email has been sent to at least one person who collects my art, and maybe more, I don't know! He uses my name in the respond-to line and then chats concernedly to the befuddled reader about how my paintings will shed their paint like so much multicolored dandruff in 5-10 years. Apparently, he's contacted all the curators in the world and the Liquitex Corporation and they agree with him. His expert advice is to stay away from my paintings, don't buy them at any price! Don't even look at them! Christ! Whats the matter with you?!
SEE THE BACK-STABBING EMAIL BELOW!!!
Excellent! My canvases are unstable and at war with themselves! WHICH IMAGE WILL WIN? Will the smothered original painting cast of its' acrylic chains and emerge again, after years of bondage? Will this tussle play out on walls across America, giving new and exciting meaning to the dergatory phrase, "dull as watching paint dry?" Obviously, they weren't looking at the roiling volcanic surface of a BREEN!!!
Now lots of people will tell you to stay away from my work for lots of different reasons - usually its because they think my art stinks. Or I'm sacreligous. Or my art stinks again. BUT NO ONE - NO ONE CAN QUESTION the CARE and PREPARATION and finish of a BREEN!!! That's because there simply is no care or preparation of a breen! I just grab any old painting, kick it around the yard for awhile, maybe let the neighborhood dog chew on it. Then I throw some dirt on it to soak up the extra oil if its an oil painting, and slap some paint on as quickly as possible so I can get back to watching TV! Of course, about half my paintings are done on top of acrylics, so oil is no issue there.
Now for those of you breen owners or owners to be who are worried about whether your paint will shed it's skin like a rattlesnake in July - take heart! I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE EVERY BREEN I HAVE EVER PAINTED AGAINST OIL EROSION DURING MY LIFETIME!! I'm not kidding about this! In the unlikely event that your breen spontaneously spews geysers of oil lifting the paint from the surface, send it back to me, pay the postage, and I will repaint the damaged part! Or, if the damage is so great that the painting is a "TOTAL", then I will replace it with a breen of equal or greater value!
But who my new art enemy?!? Someone is stewing about breen inc. so much they're resorting to sabotage! No one has ever contacted me to tell me my methods were flawed! If anyone has any information about who this 'artist' is, please let me know. I think someone's work out there needs a severe breening!